The Last Nantz (FKA Porch Madness) – Round One Update

Prognosticators,

As I sit here drinking my coffee, wondering what the hell CBS’s non-sports daytime television programming is (Lucky Dog???), waiting for the SD State tip off like an addict for his daily methadone dose, only one thought comes to mind on how to open: It’s great to be back.

We begin.

The Games

There were many exciting games in the first round, but I would be remiss of me not to dedicate the majority of this section to Farleigh Dickinson. This is not to dismiss the future senators, special interest lobbyists and investment bankers (Princeton) who somehow managed to knock off Arizona, nor is it to ignore the future senators, lobbyists and investment bankers (Furman) who somehow managed to knock off a third and final group of future senators, lobbyists and investment bankers (Virginia).

But Farleigh Dickinson, a 23.5 underdog and the second ever 16 seed to beat a 1 seed, tops them all. The Knights beat the Boiler Makers with grit and great defense; they scored 24 points in the paint and forced 16 turnovers. Those 24 points in the paint came in spite of an average height of just 6’1”, much in contrast to Purdue and 7’4” Zach Edey. Particularly likeable are star player Sean Moore (19 points, 5 rebounds) and head coach Tobin Anderson (who I think may also be our local Traveler’s agent).

Okay, I dedicated the whole section to the Knights. But who cares? Let hope they keep the magic going against FAU.

The Picks

Tombras talent and Fantasy Football executive Kaleb “Bracket Bob” Griffin leads our pool after one round with an impressive 260 points. Tied for second are Ryan Neal and Jon “the Creelinator” Creel, 240 points each. Ryan went no frills on the nickname, a respectable choice. Reigning champ Davis “the Mad Hatter” Hatmaker is third with 230 points.

Potpourri

In the Battle of the Mississippi River, the East currently holds a slight lead (217 average points) over the Texas Trio and Baby (210 avg pts).

In the Battle of the Bourgeoisie and Proletariat, Public school graduates (226.7 avg pts) lead Private school grads (211.8 avg pts). Thanks, Obama

The top of Jim Nantz’ Shit List is currently occupied by Conner “Zon” Deck and Mr. Dan Martin (also no frills) with 180 pts each in the first round. However, the early read from max points is that Matt “Starkville” Hunt will soon be atop the shit list. Starkville Hunt took Zona to win it all and had Memphis in his final four. Good gracious, Starkville

Editor’s Notes

The FDU write-up kept commentary on our bracket pool minimal for this one. But, rest assured, I will be reading the group message and noting your hot takes, jokes, etc. for Round 2. The group message seriously makes this thing so much fun. And no, Mad Hatter, I am not mentally prepared for Grandma winning this thing, either.

Yours,

Neece